On Understanding Bonding and Attachement Therapy

In those days, we did not conceptualize the Nearly thirty years ago, in the early '70s, The Attachment Center at Evergreen had it beginning in The Youth Behavior Program. At that time, in a then fairly new concept, Tim Faust and other founding therapists took kids with identified problems into the wilds of Colorado. Even then wilderness experiences were being directed for youth all across the United States, however at that time, few directly targeted moderately to severely disturbed youth and identified the experience as therapeutic with the therapist accompanying the youth on the trips. In those days there were no "challenge courses" and no one outside of the Armed Services had heard of aerial obstacle courses. However, we found that difficult teens and disturbed younger children somehow were quickly able to relate in a healthy, new and tighter therapeutic alliance with their therapists after they had dangled from a rope, feared being swept down a river, or reached a mountain top that they had previously felt would be impossible to climb.

Bonding Cycle with the precision that it is now taught and understood. We only knew that "something special" happened after these problem city youth were encouraged (euphemism) or pushed and cajoled (more accurate) into a situation where they achieved after definitely feeling unsure of themselves. In the beginning of these experiences, most were confounded, confused, and downright scared in an unknown surroundings far away from peers, booze and bravado. When challenged to excel in a far different environment than their urban underpinnings "something" marvelous often happened.


Although perhaps we were not theoretically clear in those days, we did know that somehow the mix of downright fright, or at least solid concern followed by achievement, pride, gratification and relief produced a therapeutic alliance that was far tighter far more quickly than what we could generally obtain in the office using good traditional techniques. At that time, we might have even characterized it as a "bonding experience". We did recognize that, strangely, following the experience, the youth identified with, emulated and wanted to be like the youth leader.

Then, at that same time, in the early to mid 70s, an old therapist, who was a walking amalgam of wisdom, therapeutic genius, boisterous humor, and dogmatic positions wrapped in a cantankerous personality came to Evergreen to teach and consult on very difficult youth. This controversial figure, Bob Zaslow, and his "team" of graduate students taught all across the nation, and although he sometimes left both acrimony and adulation in his wake, and although he left few published writings, his influence was vast.

Bob taught about Bonding with a capital "B". He taught that it was necessary to disturb the disturbed. He clarified that Bonding and Attachment were far different that "the growth of love" or the "building of an alliance" in the more traditional sense. He was an unabashedly directive therapist in a therapeutic universe that mainly preached non-directiveness, reflective listening, and the slow process and analysis of transference and countertransference. He took extremely disturbed youth, forced eye contact in a holding position, and carried out family therapy in a circle around the prone youth while the mother or father held the head. He taught parents to be confrontive, and straight with themselves and the child they held. He "coached" parents to bond with their child. And he achieved dramatic results, with his controversial techniques.

That was then. Now is now. America has become a much more protective, victim-oriented and regulated environment. And the effective techniques that encourage rapid attachment and bonding have, for a number of reasons, have fallen on difficult times. Before exploring those reasons here, let us first look with some precision at the Bonding Theory upon which all Attachment Therapy is based.

Bonding Theory is on both observations and clinical assumptions that evolve from clinical experience. The two basic empirical observations appear to be unarguable at this point. They are observations that everyone can validate with their own inspection and commitment. These observations were first remarked upon by Bowlby and his followers nearly half a century ago. These observations have not been seriously contested since Bowlby's time and are now incorporated officially part of DSM IV Reactive Attachment Disorder:

1) The normal bonding process between child and mother takes place in infancy, mainly around feeding and physical contact in a flow that occurs as the mother and child interact around the child's distress.

2) Most severely disturbed individuals have had developmental problems occurring during the time of the bonding cycle, problems occurring early in life, generally around early parenting techniques or early life developmental disorders. Generally, alone or in combination, such individuals:

a) Have had physical or mental developmental disorders such that the normal cycle of pain followed by gratification and relief could not be achieved.

b) Have suffered early abuse and/or neglect

c) Have, before birth, been bathed in alcohol or drugs to the extent that the normal early neurologic functioning is impaired.

d) Have been moved from care taker to care taker early in life

e) Have had the physical trauma of either surgery, pain or undiagnosed infantile illnesses such that the normal bond cannot form - such infants generally have problems recognizing or obtaining relief from their distress

Bonding Theory is based upon the following four arguable clinical assumptions. These assumptions, at the foundation of Attachment Therapy are open to disagreement, but believed to be true by the vast majority of practicing therapists:

1) All true bonding has elements of trauma, pain, difficulty or uncertainty followed by gratification and/or relief.

All true bonding involves, in short, the successful completion of an "ordeal". Bonding, then, is a process that is different than the growth of love, esteem, respect and sense that it is usually visualized. Bonding experiences take place in normal infancy; in the armed services; in the use of challenge courses; to survivors following a catastrophe, to cult members; in interrogation and indoctrination routines; in brainwashing situations and in reparenting and certain "attachment therapy" routines. Bonding routines can be seen throughout the bible; in Mien Kamph; and in many other situations. In fact, bonding routines are everywhere, from the shores of Normandy, to college campuses where Greeks involve plebes in "hell week".

Thus, it may be seen that bonding routines can be used for good or for evil purposes. It depends on who is in control, the motives and the outcome.

2) The lack of completion of the normal bonding cycle results in predictable symptoms: They include but are not limited to:

a) The inability to show gratification, Basic Trust, Love, Attachment and normal affection to parental figures.

b) The internalization of rage and anger that leads to childhood cruelty to animals and other children, lack of self respect and severe control problems.

c) Other first year of life developmental problems such as hoarding and gorging on food, an inability to show remorse, and a general lack of conscience.

3) That if the normal bonding cycle has not been completed at a developmentally appropriate time, during infancy, then it must be repaired in an "corrective emotional experience".

4) That this corrective emotional experience, when used in therapy, is the purposeful use of a bonding cycle with the therapist, parents or other significant others and that the bonding routines will generally involve, in one way or another, an ordeal followed by feelings of relief, achievement or gratification.

But there are problems in the therapeutic use of purposeful use of therapeutic bonding routines. Therapists have always been best at rescuing people, and providing nurturing, sometimes insight, and even, infrequently, confrontation when individuals are upset. However, the helping community looks with some suspicion on the encouragement of upset, or the purposeful provocation of painful emotions in order to provide the client with opportunity to work through those emotions in a "corrective emotional experience". Freud taught that the negative transference and neurotic feelings would, in and of themselves, eventually appear if the therapist took a non- directive course and eventually the client would work through these feelings. Of course, psychoanalysis took a long time! And it was based on the assumption that the individual wanted to change.

Nevertheless, even decades ago, a few therapists often braving the doubt, if not outright scorn of the professional majority encouraged pushing patients into primary angry, anguished, and painful feelings in order to facilitate their working through these emotions. Such were the early writings of Jacqui Schiff in All my Children; Janov in The Primal Scream; Helen Waite in Valiant Companions; Daniel Casriel in A Scream Away from Happiness and Milton Erickson in Jay Haley's Uncommon Therapy.

In the 70s, outside the therapeutic mainstream, Reality Attack Groups and other high intensity groups used "in your face confrontation" to bond patients into a "family" of ex-drug abusers at Synacore, Sydrinar and on Delancy Street. More modern versions of high confrontation have been attempted in the "boot camps for youth" and other programs attempted to bond youth into a more healthy group identification and a healthier way of life.

Regardless of the effectiveness of such groups, they all tended to remain, as may Attachment Therapy itself, outside the mainstream of therapeutic methods. There are a number of reasons, for this, but perhaps the most lethal reason for mainstream suspiciousness and rejection is the fact that these methods do carry inherent risks. These risks can always be minimized but they can never be completely vanquished. And over the last thirty years, I have seen many outstanding treatment centers closed or hassled by well-meaning outsiders because their techniques were perceived as "dangerous", "too harsh" or robbed individuals of their individual rights. There are six reasons why any bonding technique, regardless of its safeguards and appropriateness is open to such charges.

 The individuals who need the therapy often have been victimized previously in their lives.

 Character disturbed individuals may not see themselves as having problems. They are filled with denial, and are unlikely to establish the necessary therapeutic contract in a traditional manner. At any age, they must be cajoled, or strongly encouraged to engage in therapy by an outside force - either parents in the case of children, or by "court motivation" in the case of adults - or by the requirements of the organization in the case of the armed services.

 Many traditional therapists believe that the symptoms engendered by abuse or dysfunctional childhoods should be respected. That is, if a woman has trouble with men, she should see a female therapist to work through her problem; if an abused child has trouble with touch, then touch should take place cautiously if at all; if a child has been sexually abused, then he or she should not be held by an adult of the same sex as the abuser; etc.

 Such individuals easily feel victimized and claim victimization in situations where others would not feel victimized.

 The therapy needed to establish the bond does always involve an ordeal in one form or another. The therapy, in cross section, without taking reasons and usual outcome into account could be seen as abusive.

 This is a litigious society where people are quick to sue over perceive abuse. Much of the legal system's remuneration is based on finding pain and suffering. If the job of therapy is truly to disturb the disturbed, and if bonding therapy is more disturbing than the usual therapy, then litigation is always possible if not likely.

Aside from the inherent problems that bonding and attachment therapy face, there are, in addition, five commonly expressed concerns about aspects of the various bonding therapies as they are used in Attachment work. These include:

1) It is built upon the belief that the end justifies the means 2) It is dangerous work 3) It doesn't always work 4) There is no proof positive it works at all 5) The therapy merely recreates the traumatic abuse cycle that caused the problems in the first place. It creates a "trauma bond".

These thoughtful concerns must be briefly addressed.

It is built upon the belief that the end justifies the means

Although the world of psychology and mainstream psychology has trouble with the end justifying the means, most of medicine and all of surgery expresses this axiom. Attachment therapists do not equivocate here. As many if not most of the individuals treated with the therapy will most likely lead non-productive lives, and will continue to be a danger to themselves and others, the therapists feel the probable good outcome necessitates the method.

It is dangerous work

True. However, in general, the more effective any technology, the more dangerous it is. This is true of airplanes, digitalis, and bonding techniques. Nevertheless, the "negative results" that may be used to illustrate the dangers of using bonding techniques often does not hold up under close scrutiny. Whenever a therapy is "unorthodox" the therapy may be blamed for producing results that were there in the first place and that it was attempting to remedy. I am reminded of a Texas case where a social worker claimed that a young man was morose, angry and resentful following his confrontive therapy. She blamed the therapy. However, when the issue was closely examined by a board of psychologists, it was determined that the young man had always had those problems, and that perhaps he had them less following the therapy.

It doesn't always work

True. And this is true of all the psychological therapies. There is a problem however, that those treated with bonding techniques have often been refractory to the more traditional techniques. Usually the bonding techniques are not attempted as a first approach. In dealing with a particularly difficult population, some failure must be accepted.

There is no proof it works

Unfortunately much of the dynamic therapies suffer from this criticism. There is no proof positive that gestalt therapy, family therapy or play therapy are effective. This is because the establishment of control groups is difficult and global results are sometimes hard to quantify. However, all therapists using bonding techniques were schooled and trained in good traditional techniques. No therapist I have encountered uses the bonding techniques exclusively. Most wish they were not needed at all! Other techniques are neither as demanding nor as controversial. If the techniques were not overwhelmingly successful, no therapist would have motivation for using them. They provide no more remuneration, and are much more likely, within the therapeutic community, to cause problems for the therapist.

Studies are now underway to quantify improvement. The remarkably positive results on long term follow-up of 47 children treated in Evergreen are given in my book Hope for High Risk and Rage Filled Children.

There are an increasing number of therapists who have written of their first hand experiences with the bonding techniques used for attachment therapy, and they give strong testimony to its effectiveness.

The therapy merely recreates the traumatic abuse cycle that caused the problems in the first place. It creates a "trauma bond".

Abuse takes place when a child:

Is put through an ordeal to gratify the needs of an adult With painful outcome Leaving residual problems to work through

Therapeutic bonding situations:

Put one through an ordeal to help the person face their own impediments to growth With a positive outcome Alleviating the residual problems previously present

There is no doubt that in cross section, not taking the motivation or outcome into account, that the method could appear abusive, for it generally does provide and ordeal of one type or another.

If an ordeal is considered "trauma" then it is present in almost all bonding situations." All bonding could then be considered a "trauma bonding" whether the bonding be in infancy, in the service, in a "boot camp" or in reparenting and attachment techniques. Perhaps it is better to clarify that trauma bonding per se occurs when one is unable to work through the negative outcome of a cycle designed to meet the "perpetrator's" needs, in a situation in which the victim was unable to cope. Bonding on the other hand encourages the development of coping skills in a safe environment that revisits the negative or traumatized feelings and confronts the individual's inability to express loving emotions.

Many traditional therapists believe strongly in respecting a person's neurosis. That is, an abused child should not be held if the child has problems with being held - particularly by a person of the same sex as the perpetrator. If a woman has trouble with men, then that should be respected and she should work through her feelings with a female therapist. A child who has been emotionally bruised should never be treated with a loud voice, etc. Attachment therapists feel that such therapists have confused respecting the person with respecting their neurosis. Attachment therapists believe that the corrective emotional experience involves the re-experience of the traumatic situation with a different and loving outcome. In fact, attachment oriented therapists feel that by not confronting the problem and holding the abused child, the abuse is validated and locked in. For instance, when a person who has been sexually abused is never hugged because of the sexual overtones it may raise, then that person is doomed to forever feel that physical contact means sex.

This book could perhaps be characterized, depending upon the reader's belief system, as being filled with writings that are either the cutting edge of therapeutic technique or an example of, as one traditionalist put it, of the "lunatic fringe". It may be of some comfort to realize that the cutting edge of any field, prior to it's eventual acceptance has always been characterized as the lunatic fringe.

But the hundreds of children and adults who have been helped by the therapy appreciate these authors straightforward candor and explicit sharing of their techniques so that everyone can better understand this controversial work.

Foster W. Cline, M.D. 4/27/94